What's the best present you ever got?
What's the best present you ever got?
Let's remember some gifts.
Welcome to Flashlight & A Biscuit, my Southern culture/sports/music/food offshoot of my work at Yahoo Sports. Thanks for reading, and if you’re new around here, why not subscribe? It’s free and all.
It’s Christmas Eve as I write this, and if you’re like me, you’ve gotten all your shopping done, the fridge is fully stocked, the fire is crackling and the ice in your drink is clinking, the presents are wrapped and the music is gently playing in the background as the family looks at one another lovingly. Isn’t it nice to have everything in place?
I really feel for those people who still have a to-do list as long as their arm, who have lost all the presents they bought back in September to be “ahead of the game,” who are trying to figure how they can wrap presents and cook three meals while simultaneously sending out a newsletter and covering the NFL later this afternoon, just to give a totally hypothetical example. Those poor fools.
Anyway, let’s make this post like a good in-law visit: short, sweet and free of talk about politics. Straight up: What’s the best gift you ever received? I’m obviously thinking Christmas gift, if that’s your jam, but the question also applies to birthday, Hanukkah, or the time that cop let you off with a warning.
Gifts come in all forms — good news, extra fries in the drive-through bag, an unexpectedly warm sunny day where you play kickball with friends at the Winter Solstice — but me, I’m going with toys. And with all apologies to the dozens of Star Wars action figures I got all throughout my childhood or the bottle of Weller Special Reserve that’s waiting under my tree right now, the best toy I ever got was a gigantic Tyrannosaurus Rex model that showed up under the tree when I was about eight years old.
Like every red-white-and-blue-blooded American child, I spent a fair portion of my young life obsessed with dinosaurs, and this model was the apex (predator) of my collection. (I was born too early to see “Jurassic Park” in my dino phase, which was good news for my parents; I would have made them take me literally every single day.)
Here, check it out, courtesy of a timely ebay listing:
Now, there’s nothing for perspective in that photo, but trust me — that thing was the size of a well-fed house cat, easy. Its teeth and claws glowed in the dark — just like a real T-Rex, obviously — and its jaws were the perfect size to hold an unfortunate action figure. I recall ol’ Red definitively answering the question of who would win a fight between Darth Vader and a T-Rex.
(Aside: It’s listed for $269.00. Damn! Why didn’t I keep my toys in mint condition?)
I have no idea what happened to that T-Rex; likely he was lost in a move or destroyed in a backyard fireworks incident. Probably just as well; if he was still around, he’d terrify the dog out of a good night’s sleep. Sure was fun while he stalked the earth, though.
Your turn. What gift memory stays with you to this day? What’s the best present you ever received? Leave a comment here and let us all know.
Fireside Reading
A couple pieces to while away the weekend:
For Salvation South, my man Ed Southern snared one of those ideas I’m angry I didn’t get to first: Retracing the route of the Bandit on his way to Texarkana in “Smokey & The Bandit.” Ed absolutely nailed this piece, touching on everything from the vanishing South to the lessons — possibly the wrong ones — those of us who grew up on the movie learned from it. He references my Diablo Sandwich story from last year, and goes so much further than I did. Highly recommended reading.
If you enjoyed last week’s other-side-of-the-story on “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” check out my Memphis bud Adam Remsen’s Substack “Wassail and Fog,” where he’s spent the whole month deconstructing one Christmas song a day, combining memory, music theory, history, culture and a deep appreciation for the season into a short tale that pairs so well with the day’s tune. Man, I love this kind of writing so much.
Song of the Week: “Merry Christmas Baby,” Otis Redding
A little Otis Redding to make your holiday a bit more smooth. Enjoy, and check out the full non-holiday Flashlight & A Biscuit Spotify playlist when the 26th rolls around.
That’ll do it for this week. The merriest of Christmases for those of you who celebrate it, and a happy day without work and traffic for all! Thanks for spending some time here, friends. Means everything to me. We’ll catch you next week!
—Jay
Land Cat, Georgia
This is issue #112 of Flashlight & A Biscuit, and it’s one of those that’s either going to gain or lose me a bunch of subscribers. Check out all the past issues right here. Feel free to email me with your thoughts, tips and advice. If you’re new around here, jump right to our most-read stories, or check out some of our recent hits:
Our first documentary, on the famous Rama Jama’s diner in Tuscaloosa, Alabama:
The “you” in “All I Want For Christmas Is You” tries to explain himself on Christmas morning
A requiem for one of the truly great chroniclers of Florida Man
History hidden in plain sight in Williamsburg, Virginia
Power-ranking the foods of the State Fair of Texas
What does “Flashlight & A Biscuit” mean, anyway?
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Merry Christmas, dude! I was gifted with the Mighty Men and Monster Maker in my preadolescent youth.
Iron Maiden tickets